Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
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4:14 pm - Dear Senate,
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Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
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3:57 pm - Where will your death space be?
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Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
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10:35 pm - Crying and Aging
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I feel like that is a sentiment I often admit to. I don't hide the fact that I cry when i watch many cotton commercials. I cry at weddings. I cry when I see a fragment of beauty- a leaf's fall, a child's fear then relief when his parent is out of sight and then back. Sometimes sentiment is beautiful. But sap, oh whenever is sap beautiful? Is this my problem with writing? That I am a sap? Maybe that's why the children's realm is good for me. I am able to edit their moments, but not recreate mine, not without the sap.
I watched a silly hallmark movie tonight and cried during the movie and then again afresh for each hallmark commercial. As if my father had died, I was the old lonely woman, I had lost a child, had changed a student's life.
I turn 24 on tuesday and I ask myself whether I am in the place I thought I would be now. The answer is no. But I am proud of myself, and I believe my 12 year old self would look up to me.
I don't have plans for my birthday. I need to have plans for my birthday.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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9:50 am - TIME Magazines Volunteerism Issue
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What volunteerism could become if leadership was forward-thinking.
I wonder, though, would my two years of service be rewarded in retrospect? Because, I'll feel more than a little gipped if they get almost their entire college tuition and all I can do is scrounge for 3/8 of mine. Then again, would financial aid be a huge issue then? Any person wanting to take advantage of their service money would have to go to state school? I like a lot of ideas in this article. But, still, they're just ideas.
also, MAMBA, did you know about this?
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
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11:23 am - new digs
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I like the new place- although NE MPLS is now even harder to get to with the 35 W bridge out of commission for a couple years at least. My new address might be of some interest to you.
417 5th Ave NE
Apt 3
MPLS, Minnesota 55413
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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3:44 pm - I might be doomed
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I don't want to, I never have wanted to. I hated that my parents did it. I've vowed never to be one.
But I might be doomed to be a teacher.
I spent today with two seperate groups of kids working on making publications. The first, for the garden club. We divided the work and started planning and execution on the pages they said they would do. We're getting there. Then, two groups of much younger students 1st graders maybe? They couldn't spell "me", so maybe kindergartners. And we made hotdog book journals for them to capture their "youth voice" in.
Though my throat is a bit sore from speaking too loudly, and I was constantly worried that I was breathing awful teacher breath at them over their shoulders, I was proud of them when they proudly held up their final products. And I felt proud of myself, too.
Tell me something, do you have to be a good artist yourself to be an art teacher? Maybe that's what I like doing. Or consultant youth work-- so I never have to be anyone's mother. Oh I don't know, do I want to go back to school? Do I want to skip out on this country and never pay my loans? Join the Peace Corps? Sleep for a long long time?
I need to do so much before we leave next week. Part of that is contacting people to let them know I want to see them. I am irresponsible. Dammit.
current mood:  stressed
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
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7:47 pm
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I have always been a pretty slow writer, I remember that from the times when I used to write. But I don't recall if I was ever this slow. I can't remember the particulars, the second hand ticks between the letters dropped into clunky obvious sentences.
I just spent an hour trying to write on a story that I started before Christmas last year. I wrote a little over a page. But I'd love to call it two pages. I can't help myself from deleting things before I even type them. And my months of hiatus from the sport of writing haven't helped to rid me of my nasty habit of having no idea of plot.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, April 29th, 2007
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8:54 am
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another poem sent to me for the month of poetry, which is soon to be over. It's a beautiful eulogy to me, of missed opportunity. For the VT boy. For myself, the writer who has stopped and doesn't know whether she has the strength to start again.
In Michael Robins's class minus one
by Bob Hicok
At the desk where the boy sat, he sees the Chicago River.
It raises its hand.
It asks if metaphor should burn.
He says fire is the basis for all forms of the mouth.
He asks, why did you fill the boy with your going?
I didn't know a boy had been added to me, the river says.
Would you have given him back if you knew?
I think so, the river says, I have so many boys in me,
I'm worn out stroking eyes looking up at the day.
Have you written a poem for us? he asks the river,
and the river reads its poem,
and the other students tell the river
it sounds like a poem the boy would have written,
that they smell the boy's cigarettes
in the poem, they feel his teeth
biting the page.
And the river asks, did this boy dream of horses?
because I suddenly dream of horses, I suddenly dream.
They're in a circle and the river says, I've never understood
round things, why would leaving come back
to itself?
And a girl makes a kiss with her mouth and leans it
against the river, and the kiss flows away
but the river wants it back, the river makes sounds
to go after the kiss.
And they all make sounds for the river to carry to the boy.
And the river promises to never surrender the boy's shape
to the ocean.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
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2:19 pm
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I can see my glasses shiver with each of my all too hefty heartbeats.
I am tired, and 15/20 pages into the next issue of the youth leadership paper i edit.
I'm dreaming about a bathrobe, a television, some Nyquill rip off, a box of tissues, and a trashcan full of used ones.
My dreams are so much smaller when I'm sick.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, April 23rd, 2007
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9:30 am - I was given this by the Academy of American Poets...
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So i can't say I found it for you, but I'll share it anyway.
In the old days a poet once said
by Ko Un
In the old days a poet once said
our nation is destroyed
yet the mountains and rivers survive
Today's poet says
the mountains and rivers are destroyed
yet our nation survives
Tomorrow's poet will say
the mountains and rivers are destroyed
our nation is destroyed and Alas!
you and I are completely destroyed
btw- i'm sick again. Isn't that lovely?
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, April 14th, 2007
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8:23 am - Watch OUT!
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Friday, April 13th, 2007
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12:58 pm - What AM I? The glass man?
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Thursday, April 12th, 2007
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5:24 pm - What if it COULD happen to me?
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My ear hurts, the left one only- all of a sudden overnight. It feels like maybe there could be an enormous pulsing zit inside of it.
OR
it could be a spider that crawled into my ear last night- or one of those creepy crawly leggsome creatures.. Maybe it comes alive at night and walks around on my brain and slides down my nasal passages. That would explain why I'm forgetting things and sleeping poorly.
I heard a story about insects crawling into orafices and laying eggs and killing people some time lately- what if it's my time, I could die of overpopulation of the ear canal!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
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12:35 pm - Coming back around...
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Hey, I'm going to be in Beloit on Saturday evening for the Renado and Detholz shows. Just, you know, fyi.
See you then?
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
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5:35 pm - Tubby Betrayal!
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I'm not a big sports fan, but I was so shocked by the sports news this evening that I actually said "Oh My God!" outloud- when there's no one else in the apartment.
Tubby Smith has accepted the position as head coach for the Gophers. After 10 years of winning with Kentucky? Seriously though, keep a good thing when you've got it.
But I guess this means that the Gophers could start winning soon. And if I'm gonna live around here, I suppose that should matter to me, even slightly.
I got online just to tell you this.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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11:19 am - Maia and I are considering parenthood.
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Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
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12:47 pm - As for your end of the deal...
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How is the outgoing mail coming along? Should I expect my mailbox to burst with contents anytime soon?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, March 5th, 2007
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4:41 pm - I'm so sick.
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I haven't spent much time being sick this year. It almost makes the sick times worse. I barely remember what it's like to be sick. I hate it hate it hate it hate it. I'm half-watching Oprah on ageing well, and Reba's sitcom. I keep sneezing and I can barely hear out of both ears. I made chicken noodle stew last night (a success!) and I'm eating that for every meal, and I'm taking all these drugs I got at the store over the counter... but good lord, this is hard and exhausting. I'm going back to bed now.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, March 1st, 2007
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2:55 pm - White Out
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The gods finally noticed
their clerical error.
See, near the eastern buckle
of Minnesota, not quite WI.
Where those cities
edged just a little too close
together. It's bleeding,
mingling in droopy lakes.
University's cracked,
they spot. And the numbering's
off here, and here. Up can't be
south of Down. But there it is,
in ink on every map.
What embarrassing cities-
mistaken, broken, boggled.
Thank the gods. Caught
in time. White it out!
Shrouded into spring
when things are regrown.
current mood:  artistic
current music: falling snow
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
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10:52 am - Will you send me something in return?
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I made a zine- it's called Friend Ships- and it's kinda fucked up because i didn't consider the margins fully before photocopying. (dumb me) It's probably way cheesy, and super pointless but I guess that's what I'm about.
But it's something I made and I would like to send it out to people.
Give me your address if you want one. AND: promise me you'll send me something you made in return- a letter will do just fine.
Love,
Sarah
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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shuff's journal
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